


Can you tell what’s on my mind?

by Nenene



Category: Overlord - Maruyama Kugane & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, I have a quarter of a plan, M/M, Misunderstandings, Rare Pairings, Slow Build, Slow To Update
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2019-08-05 08:18:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16364228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nenene/pseuds/Nenene
Summary: Demiurge always knows what's on his lord's mind. Always. Even if it really baffles the lord himself. And nothing will stop him.





	1. Communications complications

**Author's Note:**

> So, i just got this weird itch to write something silly for this nonexistent fandom and here we are. I have never ever written anything in English and didn't write in a long time in general, but i hope this thing will amuse someone as much as it did me.
> 
> I couldn't stop laughing at the scene in anime where Momonga was trying to save his face before his guardians. Also, Demiurge is simply amazing, and i would love to see more misunderstandings between those two.
> 
> Enjoy!

”Ahem… Demiurge, please explain my plans to others in plain and simple terms.”  
“As you wish, my lord.” 

Tall bespectacled daemon smirked and with deep bow turned his back to Momonga who was as always thankful for his very inexpressive undead face. After that demon proceed to reveal his complex five steps plan for world domination. So complex in fact that mighty Overlord felt his lower jaw was gaping ajar after some time. Which he fixed with a quiet snap.

“And so, our great leader foresaw that their actions may only be…”

*Ah… I have no idea what he is talking about.*

Momonga really-really was thankful for others creations at those moments. Brave warriors and mighty magicians, those children of his friends were brilliant and indefinitely loyal to the Nazarick. Their home and bastion. 

Although none was as brilliant as Demiurge, without whom their tomb could’ve became very literal one as soon as they got in this strange world. Not to mention his determined actions to ensue so foolishly dropped wish of his master. 

Master, who right now drilled Demiurge’s suit clad back with his unwavering gaze, making shivers run down the demon’s spine to his tail tip and his smile widen with pride. 

“Was I right, lord Ainz?”

Momonga was shaken from his revered trans, in which he always got in those situations, by Demiurge’s words and quickly arranged his skull the most regal way possible. 

“So… you get it from THOSE times?”  
He very meaningful accented his words as if he had something specific in mind. 

“Yes, from THOSE times.”

Demon was again facing his lord with half bow, his slitted eyes gleaming behind his spectacles and really pleased smile on his lips. Demiurges tail, Momonga noticed, was curled behind in apparent tension. His stance immaculate and precise picture of adoration and attention as always. 

Ah, it was wonderful what he was literary incapable of blushing in this form, Momonga thought.

“And from THOSE times.”  
Momonga added with more force, as if he had more wisdom to share. 

Demiurge’s smile became wider with a glimpse of sharp fangs. He was indeed very pleased with himself right now, being able to understand plans of supreme lord so well send all kinds of pleasant feelings through his body.

“Yes, my lord.”

* I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT!!*

Momonga shrieked deep inside his own mind.  
Light feeling traveled down skeleton spine and he felt his calm restored. Thank fuck for skeleton physic, he thought. 

“As always Demiurge you get me so well…”

It must be his imagination in play that at those words demon’s eyes gleamed brighter and his sharp tongue wetted his lips. Momonga couldn’t be sure as in the next second his face was full of gleaming eyes of panting succubus. 

“Lord Ainz is so cool!! I can’t hold myself any longer!”

Next second Albedo was shoved aside by small but equally panting vampire and usual squabble commenced. 

Momonga felt a really strong desire to face-palm right now. His eyes found eyes of Demiurge in hope that other would read his mind and as always it worked. 

“Ladies, calm yourself in presence of lord Ainz.”  
Cool and collected voice all but purred in his usual manner which always made Momonga jealous a little bit. 

*Creepy. It is as if he can read my mind.*

And so, with little changes, daily life of undead fortress resumed. And all according to plans thousands of people found their way to the slaughter. 

All in the name of our lord, thought Demiurge slowly making his way to his private quarters. So many things to do, so little time. After all he did understand their lord the best. 

But first, after His glorious attention he needed some time to himself. 

****

“While it has its use, sometimes skeleton body is so inconvenient.”

Momonga tried and failed for who knows what time to find some way to relieve tension. While he didn’t tire or had any cravings purely with his body - his mind was all other thing. After all he was in the constant stressful situations and not only of the battle kind. Having normal libido as human and constant visual, and sometimes not only, attacks on his senses from all kind of beautiful looking people (well in a broad sense).... his suppression did negate high spikes of emotion, but the constant low level feelings without any way to resolve them were much worse. 

It was rare lately that he had spare time now, what with all this world domination business, but by chance he had one now. And he was hell bent on finding something to help him. 

“There must be some way to get rid of all this tension.”  
Momonga murmured heading to the coliseum level. At least watching battle hamster trying became a warrior was always amusing. 

Bright eyes gleamed behind spectacles from the corridor adjacent to the one he just moved from, but Momonga failed to notice them. 

So… his lord was in need to relieve some tension? Well that won’t do. 

Next morning bewildered Momonga was brought by maids to the baths, which he tried before with little to no success, and acquainted with best thing ever in his undead unlife. Slime bath. 

Considering job well done, Demiurge was pleased with results of his experiments on finding the right kind of relaxation for his master. Now, with that done, he was going to teach some clueless succubus the art of seduction. After all he knows his master's thoughts the best. 

****

It was not that he needed to sleep, and therefore Momonga was rarely seen in his bedroom. Mostly to get some reprieve from being the all knowing lord Ainz, and to hide from frenzied actions of Albedo, who for some reason upped her seduction attempts to maximum, as clumsy as ever. 

Not that it helped a lot, with how she apparently had unrestricted access to any room she wished, including his. Which lead to this situation then he found himself on his back, on his own bed, still fully clothed, thankfully, with very aggressive looking Albedo advancing on him with strange looking chocolate.

“Lord Ainz… I heard it from a supreme one, that to assure your feelings is to present to your beloved with home made chocolate.”  
Albedo‘s eyes were glowing and her smile positively predator. Said chocolate was literally glowing too, and looked really unsafe. Not to mention - could he even eat it? 

“Lord Ainz, accept my feelings! And then we can make love, as husband and wife!”

To say that Momonga was disturbed would be putting it quite mildly. If not for suppressant he would be terrifying. While her attention was really flattering, she was really beautiful by design, he still felt that he forced this obsession on her. While Shalltear was as disturbing, her feelings were derived from her very kinky personality and were, ultimately, her own. Albedo on the other hand was forced by his unthinking actions and Momonga felt responsible and guilty for this. 

She really felt more like a daughter to him than anything else. And wasn’t that a disturbing thought by itself?

Fast casted spell and Albedo was safely put to sleep right in the middle of the jump she attempted. Very softly he put her in his bed and sighed. 

*Also, how the hell does it even supposed to work with skeleton? I don’t have… like… anything down there!*

Momonga sighed again and called for servant to get rid of strange confection and move happily cuddling with his pillow Albedo to her own room. 

Deep inside the castle, right when he was overseeing new process of producing needed materials from fresh batch of humans, Demiurge was greeted with news of failed chocolate debacle. 

“Who would have thought that of all methods she would choose to attempt blatant love potion and will managed to poison herself with it?”  
Perhaps it was too much to expect subtlety from succubus who had never ever seduced anyone in her life. Oh well, he was quite ready for some roadblocks on his way. There is always another plan. After all, he would do anything to please his lord. 

Screams were such a pleasing background for his thoughts. 

****

What Demiurge could not expect was a summon for all male guardians to attend baths with their lord. That was outside his calculations, but opened some new things to think about. For now he will see how that goes. 

 

****

It was a really stressful week. Momonga thought as he stripped his amazingly massive armor and put a very fluffy bathrobe instead. As a lord he had his very own room to store his clothes, while others were using a communal one. Although he would not mind to share it, he had an appearance to maintain even at the times like this. He was glad that they didn’t put much of the fight over sharing bath with him, although it would be fighting against his order, so there was that. 

The idea of bonding time for men and women on their own was spontaneous but Momonga thought that it will do them good. Being on their own most of the time to get together only for a cause seemed not that good for a teamwork. And while they all could do easily without it, he really thought that getting to know each other better will do them some good. 

Why divide by sexes? Well, frankly he was still a little bit weary of Albedo after her chocolate attak. She did wake up with no recollection of her actions, but he really would like not to cause her any chance to relapse. 

With these thoughts Momonga stepped into the bathroom. This room was indeed occupied by giant bath, more like a swimming pool with hot water and living slimes, who gave best massages even to the undead skeleton bodies. Even if it was quite awkward to feel something literally moving through you. 

Especially to remove some initial awkwardness of being naked to his bones in someone presence (it was his first time after all) Momonga came earlier than agreed time, but someone was already inside. 

Through thin smoke of boiling hot water Momonga saw a familiar figure bowing to him with usual grace. 

“Lord Ainz. I am deeply apologize for an absence of others, they will join us shortly.” 

Deep tones of Demiurge’s usual tone sounded somehow different in this unusual circumstances. More intimate. Also, he was naked sans the towel riding low on his sharp hip bones. And his body acutely reminded Momonga, that while Demiurge indeed was an Arch Demon, by his nature he surely was an Incubus. 

Bright eyes flickered fast under his hair, freed from his usual hairstyle to fall onto his face. Usual smile grew wider somehow until Momonga realized that he was shamelessly staring at the demon, eyes travelling all over his toned body, lean muscles and all. Long tail moved from side to side and Momonga very self consciously cleared his throat. He really didn't mean to do that, but couldn't help feeling a little bit nostalgic of his old body. Well even if it never was that good looking.

“I-it’s alright, Demiurge. It is still some time to our meeting.” 

Momonga was glad as ever for refreshing feeling of enforced calm and turned to the pool, quickly disrobed and entered it. Some seconds later he felt water movement as another body moved in close to him. Not disrespectfully close, but nonetheless. 

Luckily next moment others finally joined them saving somewhat awkward situation from getting too awkward. 

So, that’s how it is… Thought Demiurge with a small smile, half listening to the conversation. He wondered what this bathing experiment was about. Perhaps he just didn’t see the whole picture before, but now he definitely knew his lord’s wishes. And he had plans to adjust.

After all, he could always read his mind better than anyone.


	2. Adult talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some days just not go where you expect them to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... did I expect to write more? Not really!  
> But why not? And so i have no idea where exactly we are going with it but it will be a journey now! Yay!  
> Timeline for this story probably gonna be all messed up, but definitely before great massacre at the end of the anime.  
> So, have some more awkward Momonga.

Nothing is as awkward as sitting right next to 70 something years old child, who follows you with huge sparkling eyes, while you slowly realize that it might be your duty to teach said child where do little monsters come from. And the most awkward part is, apart from summoning and/or undead rising - you are not entirely sure yourself. 

Momonga’s thoughts, low key panicky as they could be, were stuck on giant hamsters and their breeding. It was, perhaps, the only monster native to this world that he ever met after all, that even expressed his wish to find a mate.

Even if Momonga’s imagination couldn’t help but pair Hamuske with a pet version he remembered.   
*Too disturbing!* His mind shrieked with horror. 

Before this moment, today was a day just like any other, except for a need to venture out of the Great Tomb. World domination plan was going along, but it was definitely work in progress. It was almost time for showing the world what exactly Nazarick was, but not quite yet. Even adventurer Momo with his companion had a little break after Shalltear resurrection. It was risky to proceed without sufficient information about anyone who could turn his mighty guardians into a mindless slaves.

Althout Momonga`s fame alone as a mighty magician Ainz apparently caught enough attention as it is. Enough, in fact, for a very influential person to send his escort to invite him for a chat. Intrigued, and quite free until Demiurge`s return he agreed.

Unfortunately, Albedo was the one to send him on his way. Pretty succubus practically draped herself all over mighty overlord (all without actually any touching included!) making the later mildly uncomfortable, and tried to insist on venturing with him this time. After all from all of the guardians she was the least traveled by now, even Demiurge tended to spent most of his time who knows where, doing who knows what. And wasn’t THAT disturbing? Also who else was as perfect as her, his practically official wife, for his business meeting?

Momonga had really hard time refusing her, until his eyes fell on Mare, who was on his way somewhere, but conveniently got caught in their argument and didn't dare to interrupt it. Hastily, mighty lord proclaimed that young guardian also will benefit from getting some outside world experience, getting himself a soft “Eeeh?” from the boy in return. 

“Lord Ainz… I c-couldn’t…” Mare was really flustered and fidgeted more than ever. His small body almost entirely hidden behind his big staff. 

“Mare.” Royal tones of othelord’s command were very aweinspiering and intimidating. Especially than he put his face really close to younger one for emphasis. “Quiet.”

Lord Ainz put his big bony hand onto blond’s head and added more softly. “You will do just fine.”

*Please. Don’t make me do this again.*  
Momonga pleaded in his head. This was his best “Gentle ruler inspired gratitude from lesser beings” pose and face. He thought he did ok, and was kinda glad that he had a chance to use it. But it was still very embarrassing. 

Mare thought that Lord Ainz was everything good that was ever present in this world. 

Albedo thought that she wanted his children. Right now. 

And so Momonga bid Albedo a hastily goodbye (not running, thank you very much):  
“Ahem. After all you ARE the head of the guardians and we can’t possibly take away all of our commanders in one go. That with Demiurge also absent…”  
And was on his way, bright eyed Mare in tow. 

****

Today it was all about Ainz, and so Momonga was in his usual attire, with closed robe and sad mask covering his skull. Comfortable carriage with a very quiet and very uncomfortable looking convoy… ahem… escort… was moving down quite pleasant looking road. Slowly. Too slow in fact. It was so slow that Mare had enough time to get over his awe and ask Lord Ainz, very innocently, mind you, if a future child of his will be an undead or a more succubae inclined. 

*Wait. Wait. Wait. What?*

Momonga’s jaw very audibly hit his mask and one of the escorting humans, no doubt eavesdropping, made a move to switch with another one.

*Brave humans.* Thought Momonga for a second but then his mind came back to the problem at hand.   
*No..no, no. I am so not the right one to be asked this.*

Light wave traveled down his spine and calm exterior was restored. 

“Mare. I am a skeleton.” Momonga calmly stated with a sense of finality. It was a statement in itself, was it not? He was more than simple skeleton, of course, but none the least quite undead and not of the flashy variety. 

“Oh… I… I see.” Mare blushed a little and hugged his staff closer. It really was adorable. Especially with a questionable wardrobe choice.

*Bukubukuchagama, what were you thinking?*

“Of course, it would be more appropriate for your children to look more like you, Lord Ainz” Mare continued with an enlightened look on his face. 

“Of course…” Sagely unswered Momonga with a nod. 

*Wait. What now?*

“I am sure Albedo will be overjoyed with having… Thought Aura also insist that Shalltear is closer to Lord Ainz, being a vampire and so also undead of sorts…”

*Are we discussing my aboundand and at the same time nonexistent love life right now? Really?? Aaah!! So embarrassing!*

“Mare.” Lord Ainz tone made Mare’s rumbling stop abruptly. “This is definitely not the place or time for discussions like that.”

Also never. If Momonga had any say in this. 

*Wait do they really gossip about me that much? Kids…*

“Yes, L-lord Ainz! I am s-sorry…” Mare looked really distressed now and Momonga felt kinda guilty. After all they really didn’t have anyone else to turn to with such questions. And considering them being about prepubescent age (at least he thought they were) those questions must be confusing. 

Momonga actually felt really proud with being trusted as much as any parent could only wish to. Right until he realized that now he had no other choice but to learn some really terrifying things, for it not to be so embarrassing next time. And the most mortifying thing - now he had to somehow ask those questions from someone else. 

*Definitely not Shalltear or Albedo.* He thought a little distressed. It would open a can of worms which would eat him faster than the ones living in the Nazarick. 

The problem was - he had a very limited choice of confidants.

It was an embarrassing thing to ask from the stern elder butler type, considering that he still projected on Sebas his older friend and mentor. 

Also weird. 

Cocytus was really not a reliable source, even if Momonga was trying his damndest not to think him involved in some strange love-hate relationships with his leazards. Although he was admittedly the closest nonhuman looking guardian who had any hope of any relationships amongst them all. So it left not that much of a choice… really. 

Even when he was still human he oftentimes found himself lost with all things about relationships and how they started. Which was in part why he played so much and was so high leveled. He was a good leader and had plenty friends online… but real life relationships still baffled him. Which, again, was embarrassing. Somehow other people managed to meet each and form relationships, while his most meaningful were with a bunch of NPCs while being an undead. And all things considerate it probably won’t change now.

*Am I really thinking about it right now?*  
Momonga internally sighed and repressed desire to rub his mask. All of this, he was so not ready. Thought Demiurge perhaps was not a bad source of information… if he ever ask. He did looked like he would never have any problems with getting anyone he likes. On the other hand Momonga wasn’t all that sure he really wanted to know what exactly Demiurge liked. 

Arch daemon...

Momonga looked out of the window and absentmindedly noticed that they were close to their target. This super secret meeting was to be as discreet as possible. Deep in the woods. *Hence his royal cortège*, Momonga thought sarcastically, as if that never raised any flags in anyone with a half brain. Personally he always preferred teleportation. Fast, precise, and helps with avoiding awkward questions.

Momonga looked at Mare and noticed that boy still was clearly upset. 

“Mare. Look at me.” He patiently said and put his hand on to the top of the small blond head. Dual colored eyes shyly met his. 

“L-Lord Ainz…”

“I am not angry or upset.” Momonga carefully stroked child’s head trying not to tingle his soft hairs with his bony hand. “Later I will answer any questions you have.”

And won’t that be back to bit his bony behind at some point. 

Mare’s face cleared in an instant and he beamed at Momonga, his eyes huge and sparkly.

“Y-you really are so kind Lord Ainz!”

*Worf it.* Thought Momonga with warmth. 

“Can I bring Aura with me? She would be happy to hear it too!” 

*Oh for the love of…*

With loud crack escorting knight on the right was hit by a huge amount of fire, fried along with his horse. Next second the one on the left was electrocuted by a ball of lighting. Carriage made a sudden and very uncomfortable turn and started to tilt on its side precociously. Cries of pain and terror filled the air around them. 

*Well, now it's getting interesting.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Demiurge today... well...   
> While i was looking something up on Overlord`s wiki i came to an unexpected realization about one of the characters. Hope i will be able to integrate it in the story somewhere.


	3. Not so little red riding hoods.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one expect choreographic red hoods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hi again! I desided to start a new year with a new job! Good for me!  
> Not so good for a writing schedule... sorry.  
> But hey, we are getting somewhere! And I have a quarter of a plan.

“Truly, you, humans, know no shame. But we will show you the way.”

*Huh?!*

It was a very difficult situation to be faced with. On one hand it was deeply amusing being addressed as a human. On the other, thought… it kinda stinged. 

But back to the present situation. 

The carriage was stopped in the middle of the road, one of it’s wheels irreplaceably broken and horses gone… probably dead along with their escort to be fair. From whom there were now just piles of badly mangled something without any signs of living.  
To be honest, it was really awkward to sit at an angle and still keep any air of nobility about himself. But Momonga tried, admirably. All the while listening as some idiotic voice with a superiority complex prattled about their moral high ground above humanity. 

*What a laugh.*

Mare next to him wore quite perplexed facial expression. Not so much because of a tirade from outside, really, but because he was now tightly pressed into Momonga’s side, undead assumed, and didn’t know if he should try to risk moving or be petrified by this fact. 

“You know…” Second voice outside, definitely not as self assured as the first one, tried to interfere. “Maybe we should check first if there is anyone alive in there…” 

There were some sounds of indignation from the first orator. And he hissed: “Did I not tell you not to interrupt me when I was monolog… I mean when I was in the middle of an important speech?!” 

Momonga would have rolled his eyes by now, if he had one. 

*Amatures.” He thought. Still, you can never be quite as prepared as you think you are. So he quietly spelled some light protection for himself and Mare. 

“Lord Ainz, should I kill them?” Boy asked, glancing at his lord with a very big and innocent eyes. Cute, thought Momonga and awkwardly petted blond head resting on his shoulder. 

“Well, Mare, while I don’t doubt your ability to do it, it would definitely be a waste not to get to know our assailant first now, wouldn’t it?”

*And not so fun.* Momonga added inwardly. 

“Especially not after such a nice introduction… speech.” 

Mare gave him a tiny smile and nodded. Meanwhile, hushed debates outside came to a stop and voice called:

“Come out right this moment, or else we will… be…forced to use… force.” As soon as Momonga’s considerate figure managed to quite impressively glide out of the tilted carriage speaker found some troubles with continuing, his voice embarrassingly cracked at the end. 

Momonga pointedly ignored it for now, watching as Mare nimbly jumped out after him and pulled his short skirt down with one hand, while clutching his stuff to his chest with the other one.

“Nice save, Rigal.” Murmured second voice and there was a sound as if someone was hit with something. Quite hard. 

Finally, Momonga fully faced their attackers, only to mentally raize his imaginary brow. They were attacked, and possibly in the middle of being robbed, by a cultists. The very obvious one at that.

Or by a group of larping thieves. 

Five bright red hooded figures with no visible characteristics were now in a middle of a quiet but fierce pushing contest. Their deep hoods and long sleeved robes with a strange crest all over it left their complections, race and genders up for questioning, not giving anything. They were smaller than him, but Momonga found that in this world it was usually the case. 

*I was attacked by an insane brotherhood.*

For all he know about this world it would not be completely out of place to find out they were talking mice of some sort. He slowly looked them over and shifted his eyes to a nearby dead body, badly mangled. 

*Not completely inept ones, thought.* He was forced to admit that while aftermath was badly thought through they were really efficient in taking out small escort of armed people. 

“S-Should I kill them now, Lord Ainz?” Timid but clear voice promptly stopped all squabbles of hooded figures and they turned to Mare as one. Eerie silence fell upon the idyllic clearing of a very vibrant and beautiful forest. Well idyllic sans all the signs of the previous carnage, turned and singed carriage, bodies in different stages of being dead…  
Bright and eager eyes lifted from calm observation of their opponents to look at Momonga. 

Hoods followed, and now they all were staring at him. Quite intently. 

*Awkward*

“Ahem…” One of the cultists, the one who was a passionate orator from before. Rigal, was it? (perhaps, they all sounded quite the same from their deep hoods, and kept quite close to each other ) pointedly cleared his throat. “This girly has some balls, to even attempt to threaten us…”

Mare once more pulled at his skirt and disapprovingly looked at the red hoods, his voice was equally full of disapproval then he patiently fixed their mistake. 

“Mare is a boy.”

And then awkward silence reigned. 

Once again as one red hoods turned to Momonga, who for some reason felt a burning desire to explain himself. Which was ridiculous, no strangely synchronized band of a red wearing weardows had any right to tell his guardians what to wear. And if, for example purposes only, Cocytus would suddenly experience a desire to try wearing a dress he will strongly support it. Hell, Demiurge could probably even wear one quite well if he ever got such desire. This man could pull off anything and still look amazing. No pun intended. 

Momonga felt as if his mind wandered somewhere not quite relevant to a present situation, and a good bit deeper then he was ready to go right now. 

*Why would I even… And now I imagined it. Thanks brain.*

“You, sir, are a right pervert. Aren’t you?” After a long awkward silence said one of of the red hoods and they all nodded. Someone from the back piped in: “And he is so young too!” “Humans are disgusting!”

Shouts got much more aggressive and accusing. Mare was silent, his eyes downcast and his lips trembling. 

*Oh no, no one has the right to trample on self esteem of my kids.”

“Silence!” Momonga’s voice rang with power and command, for now before them stood not just Momonga but Lord Ainz himself. “ Who are you for us to answer to?”

Red capes immediately stopped their shouts sensing the weight of his displeasure and disapprovement. As one they tried to make themselves look smaller while at the same time trying not to look like it. 

“You, who stopped our journey and dispatched of our esteemed escort in such a disrespectful manner. Not even deeming it necessary to introduce yourself.”

Momonga was really not that angry, until they went and upset Mare. It was even kinda fun in a way. But now…

“How dare you to upset one of my own.”

Mare looked at his lord at that with so much admiration that Momonga felt a bit shy and instantly melted inside. He truly loved their children.  
Red capes looked as intimidated and scared as any caped figure could, which was not a lot for his taste. 

“Don’t worry Mare, it suits you well.” Momonga tilted his head a little and stroked boys head. It worked before after all, and he really hoped that it will help to calm him now. 

Mare shyly smiled, gladly letting himself be pet. And then sternly looked at red hoods with great disapproval. 

“My clothes were a gift from a supreme being, so great that you can never even comprehend their greatness.” He grabbed his staff harder and heavily stepped forward managing to look unexpectedly threatening. “And you better introduce yourself to Lord Ainz right now, before I bash your heads in.”

It was cute. Cute and terrifying. But still cute. And, surprisingly he wasn’t the only one to think so, as he clearly heard someone making an “Aww!” noise, just to be shushed immediately after under a stern gaze of mismatched eyes. 

After a brief discussion one of the figures (Momonga now was pretty sure that it was a spokesman of the group) stepped forward.  
“Well if you must know. You are in the presence of the mighty Deathlords!” Red hood made some quite impressive moves with his hands (suddenly it was like they were in some musical or a play, because he could have swore that others were posing dramatically behind him now in practiced triangular formation, some of them even went on their knees). “And you are our hostages now.”

*Oh great. A what now?*

****

“You know...just a thought, but if you stop for a second and ma-a-aybe focus on something else - time will fly faster…” Aura watched with boredom as her fellow guardian stomped from one side of the room to the other. Which, as all the times before that, only got her a death stare of one very unhappy succubus. 

“Lord Ainz should be back already. I knew that I should be the one to go with him!” Albedo abruptly stopped and turned to Aura. “What if something happened?!”

Calm voice with a tiniest bit of exasperation flew into the chamber from the entrance.  
“Albedo, do you really think so little about our lord to presume that anything can happen to him that he didn’t orchestrated himself?” Demiurge enter the room and fixed his glasses while quickly assessing the situation at hand. Aura looked really smug, while their leader looked a bit pale at his words. Such an easy crowd they were…

“I...I would never… how could you…I... our lord!” Albedo was indignation incarnate and looked a seconds away from jumping at him. 

Demiurge felt his lips twitch with a desire to smirk at her. “I am sure you didn’t mean to disrespect him like that and our benevolent lord will forgive your transgressions.” He made a thoughtful sound and looked her up and down. “Although I am quite surprised that you will await his return in such a state of… disarray, might I say.” 

Albedo stopped all movement at his words and slowly turned to snickering behind her back teen. Aura schooled her expression neutral but really she was not trying all that hard. 

Another voice entered the scene: “Really, Albedo, he has a point there. You do look quite ruffled from all this running around in circles… and do I see a grey hair? Must be from all that worry.” Vampire emerged from the shadows and covered her mouth with a hand, her eyes shining with mirth. “Or you just getting old. I wonder if our lord would prefer someone younger…” Her ample breast raised with a fake sigh. 

“Well, it would most certainly not be you then, is it? Fake boobs hag!” Aura piped in. 

Demiurge could literally see sparks flying between arguing women. He put one hand on his elbow and fixed his glasses with another one. *Here we go again.* He thought.  
As long as their leader left them without a clear order and they had a free time - everything between those three immediately went up in flames. 

“Should we do something about it, master?” Asked quite voice from his shadow. One of his subordinates emerged near Demiurge, his right hand laying on his heart, head bowed in respectful manner. While he himself was not all that fond of blending with humans to gather necessary information (it was always job most suited for a Sebas and his maids), Demiurge had his own means. His demons were researchers, spies and assassins if needed. 

“Report.” Demiurge turned and left escalated conflict behind. They could quite well fight for a title of the bride by themselves for a time. 

“As you wish.” Demon easily followed half step behind its master. “Everything confirmed.”

Knowing that nobody saw him at this moment Demiurge allowed himself a very satisfied grin.  
“So… a death worshipers. Brilliant.” He was very pleased indeed. A whole sect rumoured to worship undeads right in the middle of the holy country. That could be a start of something beutifull.  
“And what do they call themselves?”

“Deathlords, master.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy do I love writing inwardly confused Momonga.


	4. I am not big, it is just my armor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Momonga has a little existential crisis about parenting (also feels tiny bit self conscious), Mare is a badass and too cute for this world, little red hoods are not what they seem, and there are dark clouds on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look who is not dead! First part of this chapter was waiting it's turn for a long time, but i just couldn't get through the next bit properly. But i will write this story even if it kills me. Thank you all for encouraging!  
> OC galore here, but i hope you will like it anyway. And plot thickens!
> 
> Also, kids, do not do job - it kills all the strength of will AND is addictive. You just cant quit it. Ever.  
> Also also - don't grew up - its a trap. Ugh.
> 
> As always - my typos are my own, thank you very much.

You know it is a kidnapping done well when your kidnappers are not too sure about how to detain or transport you to the place of your imprisonment. Well to give them, ahem, Deathlords, some credits - they did try. 

First attempt was made straight after a stunning performance which was their introduction. Stunning in a literal sense, as Momonga found himself void of any coherent thoughts, his brain refusing absurdness of current situation. 

Red hoods in few movements, which spoke of a great practice behind them, reformed into some sort of attacking formation with their leader behind, and charged by his command. Reluctantly. 

“Charge!” Commanded Rigal with a pose of a mighty general before his troops. Troops kinda swayed in place while the same voice which contradicted their leader before said: “Are you sure it is wise? He looks kinda tough.” Other hoods swayed in agreement. 

“Oh c'mon. Must you contradict EVERYTHING I say, Lark?!” There were definitely enough feelings to indicate long suffering in his words. “And in front of our hostages no less!”

“Well I, personally, would not call it contradiction… more like a… need for a little bit of clarification on finer points?” One of the red hoods turned back to their leader. “Must I remind you that our specialty is unexpectedness.”

“And stealth.” Piped in another voice. 

“Yes that too. And careful planning.” Same figure, Lark, pointed with an approving nod in their direction. 

All this was brilliantly absurd and vaguely reminded Momonga of an old gag he saw in that one movie... he forgot the name. And he could barely keep himself from putting his hand to his face. 

Rigal, apparently, shared his thoughts and pulled his long sleeve to his hood with a grunt. 

“Oh for the… Just get them already. It’s getting embarrassing! It’s only a cross dresser boy and a glorified armor stand with a greater sense of dramatics than you all have combined!”

Hoods mood visibly changed again and they seemed much more threatening all of the sudden. 

Momonga once again wished that he could sigh without any damage to his carefully constructed image, but alas.

“Don’t kill them.” He said to Mare, who tensed once more and gave a small nod stepping forward, his stuff held high before him once more. 

As interesting as it would be to fight someone, Momonga doubted that this group of strange and kinda crazy road robbers slash kidnappers would provide any challenge for him. And it would definitely be a good training for a little one to be involved in real combat. After all his involvement with real world was a point of this trip in first place. 

Well and Momonga’s entertainment. And a chance to get out of the tomb without supervision of some of his ever vigilant servants. And a new quest before him. All in all he did get a sense of restlessness for some time now, which might be a case for a calculating looks he got from Demiurge, who prided himself on knowing his lord the best. Even if his deductions were quite confusing from time to time. Or hell, most of the time. 

Although Momonga definitely was not complaining about a slime bath. Or their collective bonding moment in it. 

*That sounds wrong for some reason.*

He meant it. Collective. As in when they all were present and not just him and Demiurge in a weird moment in a bath, witch might cause him to question some of his views at one point. Momonga felt like his train of thoughts derailed, which was not that uncommon in some cases. Thankfully sounds of commotion brought him back to present. 

He didn’t see who strike first but all the same the sight before him was glorious. Knowing that there was no way he wouldn’t kill them with magic, or just didn’t feeling like it - Mare took them all in a spectacular hand to hand battle. Well it looked more like a series of sidesteps and head whacking, but nonetheless entertaining. 

Hoods fought very coordinated, but small boy just was too out of their league. And he didn’t even try all that hard to make it seem easy. It didn’t help that he was much smaller than they were, and their numbers were more of the hindrance while they tried to capture him without hurting. Two of the hoods tried to press Mare from both sides, while a third one sneaked from behind and grabbed him by his shoulders which resulted in a startled sound Mare made while he sharply brought his stuff up hitting assailant in the head with a loud sound. With a strangely high yelp figure made an unsteady couple of steps back while his friends from left and right got their own head bashing. Crowd pretty fast lost all of Its coordination and now battle resembled some kind of amusing but violent game of tag.

Mare wildly swung his weapon left and right, which seemed uncoordinated but really effective, considering that his hits connected more often than not. And judging by a constant swearing - they were really painful. Even if Momonga thought that boy’s eyes were closed most of the time. 

“That. What you get. For disrespecting. Lord Ainz!” Boy cried out quite fiercely as he dazed one more hood with a good smack on the head. Figure fell to the ground and wisely decided to play dead, while a wild looking Mare determinately made his way to the leader who looked at his scattered band with clear uncertainty while trying not to show it. 

“Apologize right now.” Mare was smaller by far than Rigal but that didn’t prevent shiver of unease running down his spine. 

“Idiots!” Apparently, leader of this merry band was not that idle all this time, as Momonga only now noticed glowing magic circle under his feet. “If you want to do something…” But he didn’t get to finish as Mare simply whacked him. Hard. Magic circle cracked and broke. All went still. 

“Kneel before a supreme being and apologize!” Mare sternly looked at the figure below him. Who slowly shook his head. 

“I! Would! Never!” Defiant to the end Rigal definitely was ready to go down with his pride intact. 

“We are re-e-ally sorry to try and kidnap you. Ok?” One of the figures, Lark, quickly moved on his knees before his fallen leader covering him from more severe punishment. 

“No we are definitely…” indignant sounded from behind of him, while he made a quick move to muffle it with his sleeve. 

“Yes we are.” It was still hard to read fully hooded figures but Momonga thought that Lark one gave Rigal a very stern glare. Other figures slowly shuffled behind them, all of them kneeling now. “And now why don’t we all just go our own way and forget about this embarrassing little thing?” As an afterthought Lark glanced on the bodies and other parts of the convoy still somehow lying here and there. 

Mare looked from them to Momonga in question. Their lives were now in his hands. 

*Here we go again.* 

Good thing he had just a pose for this occasion. His head lifted a bit and with a sharp move of his hand he ordered: “Show me your faces.”

*No really, what the hell are you?* 

This question bothered him for awhile now. He awaited with anticipation a moment of the great reveal. 

*Also, how the hell did they managed not once to show their bodies all the while fighting, tripping and flailing around?*

He really would like to know this one. Momonga felt like it was an essential skill to have especially when you are an undead with a perchance for revealing clothes. 

Hoods paused and when Lark pulled his hood down. 

*Oh.* Thought Momonga. Oh, indeed.

 

*****

Sun shone through a giant floor to ceiling painted glass windows, bathing a great hall in a clear patches of colored light. Giant arched columns held delicate looking banisters and gave this space a look of someplace holy and grand. It was quiet when figure emerged from a giant, as was every over thing at this place, ornate doors into the hall. His steps unsure and timid while he slowly made his way to the base of a slightly raised platform where lone figure sat on the pointy decorated throne-like chair. A big one, of course. Guest chanced a quick gaze at the sitting man and promptly turned his eyes to the floor, not willing to get caught. 

“Well?” Prompted quiet and almost gentle voice and he quickly risked another look up. It would seem that today The Shining One was in the rare state of being in a good mood. Although It didn’t mean a thing, Shining One’s moods were as mercurial, as his temper was short. And somehow messenger didn’t want to be the one of the shoot ones. 

“Everything is ready, oh Shining One.” Yes, It had to be said like that every time. With the capital letters and everything. Gods forbid anyone to ever call him something else, not that they will live for long after that. As it was stated earlier - The Shining One was a giant di… he pushed this thought right out of his head. Who knows if you ever alone in your head these days. 

“Perfect.” Soft rustle of shifting clothes disturbed almost reverend kind of silence of this place. Almost like in a temple or a mausoleum. Another quiet sound of moving and light steps brought shiny boots made of gold into messenger’s view. They were VERY shiny, and tipped with claws. “Arise.” 

Messenger slowly got up, not brave or stupid enough to lift his eyes from the ground.

“You may look at us.” Low chuckle made his blood pressure drop dangerously low, bringing with it unpleasant chill and slight tremor to his hands. Man gulped and slowly raised his eyes. 

Before him stood an angel. White flowing clothes with gold embroidery, softly glowing porcelain skin of a perfect face with a luminescent yellow eyes. Gentle smile, patient as if ready to accept all and any imperfection of the world, long braided golden hair and a huge white fevered wings calmly closed behind his back. It was as if when gods created this being there were only white and gold paint left. 

Truly he was The Shining one… or a Shiny One, as quiet whispers loved to call him. All this brilliance was not exactly easy to look at. Which was a point, messenger mused, you couldn’t look at him for a prolonged time or else you will go blind from all this gold.

“We wish those pests to be gone by morning.” White hand with unexpectedly long and sharp claws firmly laid on a messengers jaw, Its tips so long that they were almost dangerously close to a man's eye. Much closer when he would feel safe, for sure. He gulped again. 

“Of course, Shining One.” Glowing yellow eyes crinkled a little with satisfaction. And although altogether he looked quite holly there were something feral and predator-like in the look on his face, in a tilt of his head. Messenger felt as if he was captured by a bird of prey, and he was that prey. “They won’t be a problem anymore.” He swore, hoping to be set free already and on his way out of this place. 

Finally, after a prolonged silent scrutiny wich made messenger as pale as Shining One’s clothes he was released. Holy being headed back to Its throne to lounge there once more. 

“You may go.” Messenger couldn’t bow fast enough, ready to retreat, but was stopped once more. Something shiny was thrown his way. His fingers almost weren’t fast enough to catch it, but he managed right as it was about to shutter on the floor. And, gods, was he glad for his reflexes when he looked closer. 

“Is it…?” Involuntary left his mouth as his panic turned up almost straight into a pure terror territory. His first motion was to throw this thing as far away from him as he could and run. But he managed to put himself together. It would be his death sentence either way. From the creature on the throne or the other one, which was imprisoned in a high grade summoning crystal he held in his hand. 

“Do not waste it. And…” Shining One’s lips stretched unnaturally far in a grin, showing inhumanly sharp teeth. “Do not disappoint us.”

With a wave of the hand he was dismissed and practically run to the doors, feeling as if he just lost a couple of decades of his life, shiny crystal innocently held in his hand. He had a message to deliver, and gods was he glad that he was not one of the targets tonight. 

*****

Have you ever felt like life was just not made for you? That you were somehow so different from all around you, that it was glaringly obvious? Well this was such a moment for Momonga. He never ever felt more self conscious about himself when now. And in hindsight it was not that unexpected, after all his body was somehow different from all others around him. He was different. It just never was quite so obvious, in his face so to speak. 

After their defeat and the subsequent decloaking, unfortunate kidnappers gladly and totally voluntary invited Momonga and Mare to their hideout. Well in a broader definition of a word. There was only a tiny detail about it being accessible only via specially tuned portal. Tuned for a much smaller persons.

Momonga was too tall and wide in his full regalia to fit into the conjured portal without making a complete fool of himself by entering it sideways while bending a little. 

*So embarrassing* 

Lord Ainz bows to no one. Period. Especially not to a glowing and shifting hole in the universe which was definitely not made for someone of his stature. And what kind of idiot even makes a portal exactly the size of a one standard sized human?

“Are you mocking us on purpose?” Mare’s eyes narrowed down pining victim of his irritation with a heavy stare. 

“No! We would never!” Lark scratched his blueish chin with a hand, which only had about a half of a usual flesh on it and was in fact quite bony in places (literally, you could clearly see bones), and waved with the other vaguely to the offending portal. “We just wasn’t ready to transport home someone… quite… so…”

“Oh just say it like it is.” Rigal was a little behind his zombie companion literally rolling his glowing eyes in the eye holes of his clearly visible skull. “He is just too big. Ok?” Still sulking from their defeat he was nonetheless not so brave, or stupid, to say it in full voice. Still Momonga heard him, and considering that Mare immediately whacked him with his stuff - he did too. 

“If your stupid portal can’t accept all the greatness that is Lord Ainz…” He proceed to chase undead skeleton, who was now loudly yelling about abusive little crossdressers and their disproportionately huge sugar daddys, through the portal while his zombie friend tried to calm both of them down.

All others of this little group of assortment of undeads in various states of decomposition were already inside, so no one was there to see Momonga sigh, summon to himself one of his less bulky travel armors (his mask was still on) and bend a little to go through. 

*Still humiliating a bit*

Inside it was more spacious when he expected. Shy light of magic lanterns of various colors and shapes made those catacombs he found himself in looked almost homely. Here and there he could see places for a rest filled with people of all genders and ages. Clearly stolen or found furniture in various states of disrepair, patched fabrics of their clothes. Perhaps, red robes of the main team were a nicest piece of clothing in here. Momonga quickly straightened at his full height feeling multiple distracting eyes on himself. Eyes of undeads of all kind. 

And wasn’t that a surprise? Apparently, resident undeads of this place were not only independent of their summoners, but even coherent enough to join together, forming some sort of secret underground society of forsaken and forgotten low level undead. With a healthy dose of occasional road robbery on the side. 

Momonga was honestly amazed, he never heard about a spell wich could summon or create an undead who will fully retain his personality and character. Not to mention in the low level ones. Great cannon fodder? Shure. But leaders, negotiators? No way.

Momonga followed Lark with his eyes, zombie valiantly jumped on his companion at some point and finally closed his jaw, rendering him mute but still very much petulant and rebellious. He profusely apologized to Mare, while making a point to keep Rigal’s mouth shut. But his eyes… they obviously went soft when he looked at a still fuming skeleton and quietly said something to him. It should be hard to read facial expression on a skull, (but Momonga knew all to well that it was easier then he would like to admit aloud), but he could have swear that light in Rigal’s eyes went a little bit fonder in return. 

Which was impossible. 

Not only they have retained personality, but emotions? Capability for something deeper? Even Momonga could not managed such a fit. 

Yes he could summon or make a high level undead who would have enough consciousness to seem independent, but it was only to a point. After all they still were only a high grade tools, nothing more. And never with a base level one. 

He himself, something he could reluctantly admit even if it was an unpleasant thought sometimes, retained only portion of his former humanity with transition. 

*And I am losing a little more every other day.*

This thought come uninvited, and he know that it scared him a little less with a passing of time. Either he was adapting to his undead status or… degrading as a person. And he didn’t know which was worse. And not because suffering of others didn’t bother him as much as before, no.

Because he was scared that one day he would not… won’t be able to feel warmth thinking about his friends. About their children they left for him. That one day he would be able to look at Mare and Aura and not feel warmth of their trust. That he would not be proud of a growth of Cocutus and Sebas with time and experience. That he would not be pleasantly amused by shyness and at the same time terrified of love declarations of Albedo and Shalltear. He won’t be embarrassed but secretly proud of his own creation Pandora’s Actor. His brave and loyal Pleiades.

Demiurge… his… confusing everything. 

What if one day he will look at them and see only as a pawns to use? 

It scared Momonga. 

“Lord Ainz!” Bright and happy voice broke through his increasingly gloomy thoughts as Mare finally brought Rigal to properly apologize. 

Momonga looked into the shiny and exited eyes of the boy and smiled, knowing that no one will see it under his mask anyway. 

Perhaps his fears will come to pass, but not yet. 

“Thank you, Mare. You did well.” He quietly said and petted boy’s head. 

Mare went bright crimson and shyly hide his eyes behind his hair, ducking his head down and clenching his stuff harder. He didn’t know what exactly he did, but he was happy with the praise nonetheless. Lord Ainz was really kind and he will do anything for him. 

“Yeah kid, not bad.” Grudgingly said Rigal clenching and unclenching his sore from rough handling jaw. “Want me to show you around?” It was said begrudgingly, but Momonga saw it for an olive brunch it was. Mare too. He looked questioningly at Momonga and got a nod in reply. 

“You have a nice kid.” Said Lark looking as the two went away on their exploration of the catacombs. Momonga knew that Mare could hold his own but still he found himself keeping an eye on the boy.  
“Don’t worry, I think Rigal actually likes him.” Zombie’s smile once again was warm and fond. “They definitely have same mental age.” He added quietly, looking as Rigal expressively showed something to Mare, who smiled. It was a nice smile. 

“Oh I don’t know about it, Mare is definitely more mature. His sister thought…” Momonga stopped himself. He never lost his persona like that in someone's presence, ever. 

And so his full attention on the now and here he looked at Lark who looked more somber himself. 

“Tell me, Lord Ainz, have you ever heard about The Church of The Shining One?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must push forward.


End file.
